✩ Want You To Know: Corporate Communications Crushing It

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For my sins, I've spent a lot of my working life in and around the world of corporate communications. Crafting and disseminating messages. Writing and editing copy for websites, wrestling with obscure technology product descriptions (anyone for a next-generation SMSC? Anyone at all?), constructing the information architecture and style guides for large intranets and more besides. Politely disagreeing with colleagues over jargon, accuracy and basic grammar.

In this time I've seen an awful lot of very bad communications materials get signed off on and wend their merry way out into the world. This is a constant. I think most people are pretty well inured to corporate messaging at this stage and don't notice just how very, very bad much of it is. I know I try hard not to pay attention, but often just cannot help myself. The week just gone has dished up some howlers.

There was a widely covered massive data breach over at Myspace. The people there were minded to make a show of acting like good corporate citizens who are concerned about their users' data privacy, and set about informing the folks who might have been affected. An email showed up in my inbox from the impressive sounding sender 'Myspace Legal'. At a scan of the headings in the body of the email it looked like they'd got a lot of the basics of crisis communications right. It starts with a 'Notice of Data Breach', which is reasonable, as I'm eager to know what this correspondence is about. This is followed by 'What Happened?', 'What Information Was Involved?', 'What We Are Doing' and 'What You Can Do'. All reasonably good so far. I mean, it could be much worse. But,

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This notification is nice. However, as it tacitly acknowledges, things have happened in the wrong order. As a user of Myspace I shouldn't have found out that my personal data was at risk through something that happened with their systems through the news media. I should have known before the story was widely reported. Now it looks to me as if this welcome communication from Myspace was something of an afterthought, and would likely not have happened if the breach hadn't been reported.

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Memorial Day is a holiday in the US. It is not a holiday anywhere else. People from outside the US aren't at all likely to know that Memorial Day is celebrated on the last Monday of May each year. Nor should they have to. I'm assuming this email was reviewed multiple times by multiple Myspace employees, yet still nobody picked up on this. It's bad even for US residents, because Memorial Day is a movable public holiday and the date on which it falls is not constant. Put in the damn date, Myspace, and don't make your audience do this work.

The email closes with a copywriting flourish, a traditional call to action livened up with a dash of reassurance.

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This seems positive, right? They've gone above and beyond just putting a team on the case. Except the multiple teams phrasing seems to be the go to weapon in the arsenal of reassurance in communications these days. Just last week LinkedIn told me the same.

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Of course, the effort being made does largely depend on the amount of appropriate people allocated to the task. And a team is any number larger than one.

Enough of that and back to the big corporate comms story of the week, the month, possibly the year. This was tronc. If you haven't heard of tronc, just roll the word around your mouth a few times before we proceed. How does it feel? Satisfying? Slightly uneven? Pleasant with a hard to discern aftertaste?

tronc

I had planned to write a bit about tronc, because I have some moderate to strong feelings about tronc, but I don't feel there's anything I can say about tronc that Allison Hantschel hasn't said better in 'On #Tronc, Journalism and Its Value'.

It's reminded me that whilst expensive corporate communications exercises gone badly awry like this should always be laughed at, they should also be highlighted as a reason why journalists are losing their jobs and journalism is suffering as a result. That the piece is a nice understated hymn to city journalism is an added bonus.

What has happened to newspaper companies in the past two decades is not about “industry shifts” and it’s not about “digital paradigms” and it sure as hell isn’t about Kids Today not reading. Nobody checking Facebook on an iPhone made the Tribune a national joke today, and if there was no internet at all in the world, newspaper companies would still be imploding because stupidity is a constant, whereas technology changes with the times.

In other newsy news, Simon McGarr has a brand spanking new newsletter which keeps you right up to date with the news you'd be better off not hearing about in the first place. Highly recommended.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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'The Taking Of Thailand's Temple Tigers'

Totally Confused

He's number one, stolen licence plates, horse yoga, cats versus bathtubs and Woodstock couple still in love.

Yours etc., @loughlin


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✩ Want You To Know: This Is What We Do Now

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‘We ask the reality TV star who may become leader of the free world how tough he would be on large zoo animals.’

Publishers hand ‘their futures over to Silicon Valley billionaires’

We ‘have come to depend on GPS, a technology that, in theory, makes it impossible to get lost.’

We have data doppelgängers who like ‘water, ice, oranges, day spas, Chinese New Year, cervical verte­brae, and human skin color.’

We have ‘“fans” on Instagram who were surprised to learn we were more than just a bot that posted pictures of Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice every four hours.’

This is what we do now.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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Natural Palettes

Totally Confused

Player Two, unstoppable content flow, Mosh Pit Simulator trailer, who marries whom and Put Your Head Into Gallery.

Yours etc., @loughlin


 

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✩ Want You To Know: It Was All Yellow

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Hello.

Yellow

Bananas

It might be said that the only bananas the EU has had a significant impact upon are the politicians who repeat this myth, in the face of evidence to the contrary in any branch of Tesco. Boris is the yellowest of all.

Book covers

This year, disparate works like Sunil Yapa’s literary novel “Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of a Fist,” Tim Dorsey’s serial-killer comedy “Coconut Cowboy” and Lauren Weedman’s memoir “Miss Fortune,” all have come jacketed in straight 100% yellow, the most basic yellow in printing ink.

Canaries

In the last month the number of searches for warrant canaries grew by an order of magnitude. This is likely thanks in large part to the disappearance of reddit's warrant canary from their 2016 transparency report. The last year has, without a doubt, been a banner year for awareness of warrant canaries.

Yarn

"Days later this conversation echoes around my mind while I’m listening to the song as I walk past a typical Scottish woollen knitwear shop. My eyes flit over a ball of wool in the window while the vid2word “unwinding” is sung and pretty quickly I’m leaving a garbled over-excited message on Tim’s phone about the music video I have in my head”

Undercover police cars

Herman Yung is an enthusiastic photographer/taxi-spotter and over the years, he's managed to spot seven NYPD police cars disguised as yellow cabs.

Worth Pondering

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♫ Corner

This Nicolas Jaar Essential Mix, which starts with a clip of Angelo Badalamenti talking about composing for Twin Peaks, with David Lynch sitting next to him dictating atmospheres is very much my current jam.

Eye Candy

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'A Kinetic Sculpture of 15 Moving LEDs Mimics a Walking Person'

Totally Confused

Didgeridoo yerself to sleep, Museum of Obsolete Media, violent margin rabbits, sad lonely smut storms and slugs work out.

Yours etc., @loughlin


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✩ Want You To Know: Actually, It’s About Ethics In Design

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Google has, or at least had, a design ethicist. Who is, or at least was, also a magician.

It's all about hijacking. And distracting. The attention economy

Pecking at screens looking for insight under glass in apps may not be the future for us though. If it isn't then Marco Arment thinks Apple may be in trouble.

ProPublica is running a series on the way technology is shaping our lives, often in completely unseen ways. This instalment about racist bias in police risk assessment systems makes for pretty grim reading. Someone made the algorithm. It is not neutral. That's not an excuse to hide behind.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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'Behind the Scenes of Alien'

Totally Confused

Camera traps, hallucinogens for your ears, an accidental meme, the Internet's favourite book and 'Kill the Wabbit'.

Finally, Ruth and Martin's Album Club is a must-read for me every week and last Friday's edition in which some bloke called Iain Lee listens to Yo La Tengo's I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One is particularly good. It's worth reading if you love, hate or have never heard of Yo La Tengo.

Yours etc., @loughlin


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✩ Want You To Know: Why Do Good Things Never Wanna Stay?

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Back in the mists of time when the Internet was young, we used to share a piece of advice with friends and clients which could be roughly phrased as 'don't write anything on the Internet with your name attached that you wouldn't be happy to see on a billboard near your house'. There were many variants of the same advice such as 'don't put anything on the Internet that you wouldn't be happy for your grandmother to see on the front page of her local newspaper while drinking her morning coffee', and so on. The message was that nothing can ever really be effectively removed from the Internet, and statements made may well come back to haunt you at some unspecified point in the future.

This was all long before social networks and nymwars, and a parade of mildly salacious stories about people losing jobs or not being hired in the first place because they'd posted opinions or pictures online that marked them out as being 'not a good fit' or whatever the euphemism du jour was. This resulted in people being somewhat more cautious in what they posted online and who they allowed see it, which was a good thing. A vague understanding of the permanence of things on the Internet became ingrained in the collective consciousness.

This week we're seeing the reverse of that, that plenty of things on the Internet are far from permanent, and that the Tories might be able to take away your lovingly curated lists of recipes because recipes on a website are a projection of soft imperialist power – no, I've no idea how Osborne got there either.

The Internet, a land of transient permanence, in which the bad things can hang around forever while many of the good things go away.

TL;DR Always keep a local copy.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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'Guide To Computing'

Totally Confused

Cell phone tower trees, blown away, Hello Woorld!, stupid random delivery app and intergenerational mobility.

Yours etc., @loughlin


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✩ Want You To Know: Toast Baker’s Dozen

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~ Interrupting the scheduled programming with a quick toast to The Toast ~

The Toast is stopping on July 1st, which is a significant date in online calamities as July 1st 2013 is when Google Reader was put down. Why, Internet, WHY?

This shutdown raises questions as to whether any sort of independent site that features quality writing can carve out a successful existence online. The Toast was undoubtedly popular, the liveliness of their very well moderated comments section attests to that. They paid writers and went out of their way to give new voices a place to be heard. They generated revenue both through display ads and a tipjar. Although cash isn’t the main reason cited by Mallory and Nicole it certainly played a part. I’ve no doubt if things weren’t so tight they would have been able to bring more contributors on and decrease their own workload.

Oh well, we can’t have nice things for too long I suppose. Perhaps better that it goes out like this – stopping with a reasoned and classy announcement – than being bought up and having the weird brilliance squeezed out of it, bit by bit.

Here are my favourite humour pieces from its three year reign as the place with the funniest, smartest and frequently most thoughtful writing on the Web.


“They took off their clothes, leaving their soft and hairless skin exposed to dust, wind, cold, and various other deadly elements.”

Erotica Written By An Alien Pretending Not To Be Horrified By The Human Body


IF I CAN’T HAVE A WAR
YOU CAN BE DAMNED SURE THE RUSSIANS AND THE JAPANESE AREN’T GOING TO HAVE ONE
wait a minute and I’ll send someone from the State Department with you
TOO LATE, TAFT
I’M ALREADY ON MY WAY
GOING TO DO LUNGES ACROSS THE ATLANTIC
SHOULD BE IN MOSCOW BY NOON
I’LL WIRE WHEN I GET THERE

Dirtbag Teddy Roosevelt


I hate the way they wobble-squample across the street at night when you see a shadowy mass under a streetlight and then it turns out to be like seven fur-children

A raccoon is the child of a cat and a wizard and it walks in too many worlds for it to be allowed to stay in this one

Everything That’s Wrong Of Raccoons


I will have to take the day off today because:

☐ A dog looked at me

☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance

☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today


“Sure, why not?” Ted shrugged coolly, cool not in a rude way but in the laid-back, relaxed way of a man who’s very at ease with women. “I’m a pretty liberated guy, probably not like the ones you’ve known before. I’m okay with a woman buying me things.”

Liberal Dude Erotica


“Due to dietary restrictions, I am only able to eat Yatzhee dice. I made the necessary substitutions, and it turned out great.”

All The Comments on Every Recipe Blog


get up
it’s weird to lie down when nobody else is lying down
sit up
i’ll sit up when I see something worth sitting up for

Women Having A Terrible Time At Parties In Western Art History


But how is a normal internet citizen supposed to know, when they hear someone say “I just can’t stop looking at gifs of Bombadil Rivendell” that this person isn’t talking about some other actor with a name and a voice and cheekbones? Or in other words, what makes for a reasonable variation of the name Bendandsnap Calldispatch?

A Linguist Explains the Rules of Summoning Benedict Cumberbatch


MOVIE STAR: BRING OUT MY DECEIT TWIN WHO LIES TO THE MIRROR FOR ME
BRING FORTH MY SKIN MINION, I REQUIRE HIS BODY’S LIES

“Bring Me My Pain Twin”: A Movie Star Names Things


21. Things Get Worse and Then You Have an Illegitimate Child With a Man From Outremont Who Doesn’t Really Love You

Every Canadian Novel Ever


MONK #1: are people the same height as castles
MONK #2: pretty much yeah

Two Medieval Monks Invent Art


MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on
MONK #2: the head

Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries


MONK #1: what surrounds the earth
MONK #2: mm
trees
lobsters
some guys trying to blow on us
horrible red chaos

Two Medieval Monks Invent Maps


Yours etc., @loughlin


 

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✩ Want You To Know: Sealions Across The Twitterverse

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Lots of learning today folks. Some straightforward lessons that you can put to work in your own projects immediately, some a little more oblique but certainly not at all less worthwhile learning.

Emoji does not have a plural in Japanese. The panda emoji – 🐼 – lives in the astral plane. Emoji are very complex and give browsers many headaches.

Wearing a stormtrooper mask when leaving court after you've been found guilty of assault may not be the best way to conceal your identity. It's a novel way, but probably not the best way. Also of passing interest, the Indo twice refers to 'Face Book' in this article, which is peculiar.

Don't put all your revenue eggs in one Google basket 'cos they might just forget they accidentally put you in the "bad pile" and crash your business entirely as a consequence of this oversight. This lesson is from an interview with Matt Haughey, founder of Metafilter and all around good egg.

"If Gwyneth Paltrow were your girlfriend, you would go out for brunch with her and Beyonce and Cameron Diaz, and Beyonce and Cameron would nod approvingly at you. “You’re good for her,” Cameron would say. “You tame her,” Beyonce would say, and you’d laugh and rest your hand on Gwyneth’s shoulder, and Gwyneth would smile, and outside a hundred ravens would take off in a cloud of black."

When pulling a marketing stunt like renaming your beer America in an appeal to patriotic values, maybe first reflect a little on the origins, sentiment and intent of the lyrics you're using. Or perhaps communism is now considered the height of patriotism in the US. This whole world has gone so topsy-trumpy-turvy recently it can be hard to tell.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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'2,200 Radical Political Posters Digitized: A New Archive'

Totally Confused

Typefaces of 2015, bad ham, catsoundboard.com, payday lenders banned by Google and kung fu motion visualisation.

Yours etc., @loughlin


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Mister Rhodes Is Seeking Employment

The world of politics and media in the US is mildly aflutter this weekend after a man most people hadn’t heard of before ran an extended advertisement for his services. Ben Rhodes is President Obama’s deputy national security director for strategic communications, also known to some as “the Boy Wonder of the White House” and the New York Times magazine has a long profile of him. After some interesting background colour about just how an aspiring novelist ended up writing the President’s speeches and directing large chunks of American foreign policy, the piece gives an extended description of how Rhodes and his team shape and disseminate their message across the 2016 media landscape. It’s interesting enough that I even got my crayons out and attempted a chart.

A lot of the ire has been directed at the disdain Rhodes and his boss show for journalists who “literally know nothing”, how dishonest their selling of the Iran trade deal to the public was and how deeply cynical the administration’s playing of the message management game is. ‘Ben Rhodes, Liar’ says the Free Beacon . ‘A stunning profile of Ben Rhodes, the asshole who is the president’s foreign policy guru’ thunders Thomas E. Ricks in Foreign Policy. ‘Why the Ben Rhodes profile in the New York Times Magazine is just gross’ grumbles Carlos Lozada in the Washington Post.

Of these three (and there are plenty more out there), the last one is closest to my thoughts on the profile. There are lots of repugnant aspects to the piece, but none of it strikes me as particularly new. Perhaps it’s never all been stated so arrogantly and bluntly in one place before, but most of the media insiders complaining can’t be unaware of the access journalism game. And I certainly can’t think of a better, more high profile example of access journalism and all the trade offs it requires than the White House beat.

Some of the resentment may come from the methodology of message dissemination described in the piece, which does an end run around some formal, hard won relationships and uses social media to seed and spread the word. The use of Twitter is focussed on in the piece, with only passing reference to Facebook, but to my mind that’s where the really concerning black box stuff is happening.

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give-them-some-colour

So far, so straightforward. The message is decided on, willing hands help push it out through Twitter, with Price’s additional colour added. Other busy and probably desk bound journalists, using Twitter as a supplement and enhancement to traditional wire services write up the story and give it some presentable clothing, as they have seen it appear from multiple sources on Twitter. Then they in turn press publish.

The story appears on news websites but the numbers who read them there are falling. It also shows up on the publication’s Facebook pages and the machines get to work.

As an end user of Facebook, you’ve very little control over what you see in your feed, and very little ability to shape what Facebook’s algorithm decides you will see, when and in what order. There’s an increasing chance that a typical Facebook user gets much or most of their written news through Facebook. As an aside, Facebook would now also aggressively like their users to get much or most of their video news through Facebook. This will happen. Facebook has the scale to do this.

Anyway, back to the print story wending its way though Facebook’s entirely opaque plumbing – a wondrously complicated plumbing system liable to change on a whim. This story shows up in users’ feeds with the message present and correct from a large number of potential news sources. Window dressing around the message has been duly applied, so the stories from different outlets won’t be exactly the same.

The majority of American adults are Facebook users, and the majority of those users regularly get some kind of news from Facebook, which according to Pew Research Center data, means that around 40 percent of US adults overall consider Facebook a source of news.

(from Emily Bell’s ‘Facebook is eating the world’)

In addition to inscrutably dropping news stories from news organisations into users’ feeds, Facebook also does a little bit of curating of its own. The takeaway of concern for journalists here is obviously that Facebook is mostly interested in journalists as a means to train up its algorithms.news-flow-2016

None of the platforms, of which Facebook is indisputably the largest, can be neutral actors in this world. They create the algorithms which now decide which news is presented to which user. In this case, news that has one message from one source, although there is a comforting illusion of a diversity of sources.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into this. After all, Mr. Rhodes is just advertising his availability for work next January. Prospective employers, if you’re listening, Ben would quite enjoy some time in the sunshine in California.

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✩ Want You To Know: “I Strapped A Lot Of Things To My Head”

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The quote in the subject line is from my new favourite podcast, Note To Self, which is all about the intersection of technology and humanity. How we’re grudgingly getting along with the machines we’ve appointed as our masters and all that.

The episode the quote refers to is Forget Edibles: Get High On Wearables, but go and subscribe and listen to all of them. They’re reasonably short and always fascinating.

Important Internet News

Despite being declared dead and buried a few weeks back, Boaty McBoatface was dug up, taken out the back and submerged. Now all we’re left is this really magnificent GIF.

If you’re looking for tips on how to write a statement that could only be described as scathing, try reading this one from Médecins Sans Frontières a few times before you crack open the word processor: ‘MSF to pull out of World Humanitarian Summit‘.

There are also a few very simple lessons on messaging in this short piece by Theo Beltram, former adviser to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. Identify your talking points, then make sure all your speakers repeat them until they’re blue in the face. Some of it will inevitably stick.

To celebrate David Attenborough‘s 90th birthday, Ed Yong got to watch ALL his documentaries and rank them. This is the most jealous of someone else’s project I’ve probably ever been.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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#StarringJohnCho | context

Totally Confused

Plot generator, a dense badger lie, eliminate raccoon dogs, jewellery and Bread. Cat. Arms.

Yours etc., @loughlin


 

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✩ Want You To Know: Contains No Traces Of Trump Tacos

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in media res

Perhaps because participation in reading groups is perceived as a female activity, some all-male book clubs have an outsize need to proclaim the endeavor’s masculinity. In addition to going by the name the Man Book Club, for instance, Mr. McCullough’s group expresses its notion of manliness through the works it chooses to read. “We do not read so-called chick lit,” he said. “The main character cannot be a woman.”

From a New York Times trend piece on Manly Men’s book clubs.

There’s also a real problem with setting up a book club devoted to manliness in which writing by women is excluded. Because the fact is, in my experience as a man and (dare I admit) a reader, the most daring, thoughtful, and insightful discussions of masculinity have been written by women.

This isn’t some sort of bizarre accident. It’s rooted in the same cultural givens which led some significant number of men to think that they’d look more manly if they put the word “MANLY” in the title of their book group. Women, for their own well-being, have to know how masculinity and the patriarchy work; men, for their own perceived well-being, have to keep themselves ignorant.

From a response to the New York Times trend piece on Manly Men’s book clubs.

There’s a hashtag, because of course there’s a hashtag. #ManlyBookClubNames. The Gripes of Wrath is simple yet beautiful and destined to become a classic.

Speaking of the New York Times, it’s come up with a rather odd / inspired plan to deliver ingredients to people’s homes so they can cook the recipes it prints. Go on, get those jokes about snackable content out of your system now.

I’m not a large media conglomerate so I can’t get into the headspace where launching a print publication in February 2016 for an audience who have ‘fallen out of love with newspapers’ was a good idea, especially as the same group shuttered Ampp3d and UsvsThem just under a year ago. Both of these are now widely and mostly badly copied across the digital publishing industry but, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Apple steals your music. Or does it? Either way, get used to the concept of renting, consumers. I’m comfortable with regarding the cloud as someone else’s hard drive they’ve lent to me in exchange for some personal information, and using it as such, but when the cloud wants to tidy up my hard drive I feel the cloud may have overstepped the mark a bit.

Finally, there may be a totally unstable government cobbled together in Ireland later today. Everything points to it being powered primarily by neo-liberal garbage juice. So there’s a cheery thought for your weekend.

Worth Pondering

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Eye Candy

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‘Borderline, Frontiers of Peace’

Totally Confused

A moist cringe, water in voxels, this is fine, ping pong and hippos eating watermelons.

Yours etc., @loughlin


 

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